I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
