Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just pee around me
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
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