And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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