it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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