My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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