Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
