With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
