I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
