i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
