OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
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