I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she looked like the before picture.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
