even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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