You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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