I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
