we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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