guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
