And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
