What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
