i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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