I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
