i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
where are my eyebrows?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
