Tell her she can't have a vagina
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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