i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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