Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
