he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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