i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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