I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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