i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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