Duck Duck Cougar?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
where does the pee come out of this thing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
