Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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