She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What a dumb baby whore.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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