I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She bit a glass in half.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
