even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
