it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
