im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
