I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
