You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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