so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
