And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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