So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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