He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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