it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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