hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
