chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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