i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
