I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
