She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
