ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
