I'm eating all of the evidence.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
