Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
smell my finger.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
