just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
