yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
