i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
